Policies for Trump’s Second 100 Days

putindollarbillYou’ve heard a lot about Trump’s policies for the first 100 days of his presidency. There were a few ideas that didn’t make the list. Here are the ones that got bumped to the second 100 days.

  • Vlad will replace George on the dollar bill. October 7th, Putin’s birthday, will become Fearless Leader Day.
  • A second wall will be built on the California border. In this case, California has actually offered to pay for it.
  • It will be legal to shoot someone on Fifth Avenue. It will be illegal for people to change their opinion of you just because you shot them.
  • Presidents’ Day will be moved from February to June 14th (Trump’s birthday). All citizens will be required to wear red baseball caps and celebrate bigly.
  • Women will be required to wear their number. If you’re a 10, great. If not, well, not so great. You’ll probably be deported.
  • The reality show “Guess the Nuclear Codes” will start filming. Contestants will be selected from the KKK membership list. Winners who guess correctly will pick the country to be obliterated. (Hopefully the contestants will be informed that other countries exist besides U-S-A, U-S-A, and U-S-A.)
  • A new cabinet will be selected every six weeks. The live firing of the previous cabinet will be televised. May or may not include a firing squad. Depends on what Ivanka thinks.
  • All Army generals will take training from Trump on how to win a war. There will be a test. Those who fail will participate in the next round of ex-cabinet member elimination mentioned above.
  • Cat videos will be banned on Facebook. Apparently, cats don’t like Trump and Trump doesn’t like cats.
  • All future elections will be cancelled. Who needs ’em?